Live for Today.

What is tomorrow? Is it 24 hours from now? Is it "after I've slept"? What exactly is tomorrow?

We all hold on for the hope and the promise of tomorrow. When we have a crummy day, we often think "tomorrow is a new day", or "tomorrow will be better", but why don't we look at Today? Why do we put off Today, for Tomorrow?

Living in the now is VERY hard to do. Tomorrow I may not have enough money. Tomorrow I have to work. Tomorrow I have an appointment. Tomorrow I'll clean the house. Tomorrow I'll book that vacation. Tomorrow I'll ______.

Like most people, I have a job, a child, chores, friends, a partner, family... it's all too easy to say "I'll do that tomorrow"  I am busy, or I am lazy. Or I get a case of the "I simply don't want to's".

But really, what are we waiting for? Are we waiting for the excuse of tomorrow? Do you really think that tomorrow will bring better than today can?

I think I'll make the choice, to do all the things I can in a day. If I can live with not completing it because I may never wake up tomorrow, then I will take those things and put them aside. If they're things that I need to take care of now, because tomorrow will only prolong the suffering/avoidance, etc.. then I will take those things and face them head on.

I don't want tomorrow to be an excuse for not living for today. I choose to live in the now.

Someone wonderful, and close to me said "The past is yesterday, the future is tomorrow, but you can only live for today, which is why they call it "The Present". Its a gift."

So, I choose to accept my gift :)

Community Yoga

So, I have a friend who let me know about Free Yoga in the Park!

I think this is an amazing benefit for those who want to experience yoga, without the expense! They have programs like this all over the place too, not just in Red Deer! I will be taking FULL advantage of this, as well as our other community (free) resources for being healthy!

In Vancouver (or otherwise), if you were wanting to participate in yoga, just check out your local Lululemon store, they always have free classes there. (just go here!)

Google  your area, to see what is being offered for you and yours!

Karma yoga (Sanskrit: कर्म योग), or the "discipline of action" is a form of yoga based on the teachings of the Bhagavad Gita, a sacred Sanskrit scripture of Hinduism. Of the four paths to realization, karma yoga is the science of achieving perfection in action. Karma yoga is an intrinsic part of many derivative types of yoga, such as Natya Yoga.

I have been reading the Bhagavad Gita.. its an amazing read.

Time to get back into my buddhist readings and teachings, as I have let them slide for far too long.

Namaste!

Hopelessness.

Have you ever felt hopeless? I mean.. truly and utterly hopeless? Unable to make any changes in anything that seems to be going on around you hopeless? I feel that way right now.

I have so many situations that I really have no control over, going on in my life right now, and I am unable to just let them be so to speak. I am consumed with ways of trying to better them, fix them, make them right, and its in everything from my work, to a couple personal relationships I have, and no matter how much energy I invest into them, it doesn't seem to make a difference.

I have forgotten how to let go of situations that are out of my .. control.

It's really hopeless feeling, because I want to make it all right.

So, I do what I can, and I am sitting.. playing the waiting game now. 

Monster Licenses

Haha so a friend of mine found me this page GO HERE NOW

I registered as a succubus hahahah

Please find the amusement in that with me... the certificate it in my purse ;)

~me

IF you are squeamish about girl topics, read no further.

Dear Menstrual Cycle,

You are a necessary part of my life, I understand this. You help me cleanse my body and discard unnecessary tissues. Sweet. Thank you.

However, I feel the need to ask you a few questions, and have a few simple requests.

Why is it, that you come into my life like a hurricane, with might and fury that is relentless? I am just trying to live my life like any other woman. I would appreciate it if you would leave my hormones alone, because really, turning me into a weeping, needy woman even for a day every month is too much. I would appreciate it if you left a door knocker next time so that I know when to expect you.

Why is it, that you have to cost me so damned much? I mean, I already spend too much on things that a woman needs, and then to top it off, your irregularity in flow, tends to cost me that much more. Do you think of things like, the cost of products? The cost of electricity? How about the time you take from me? I didn't think you did. Lets try to be a little less selfish shall we, we have to share the same space, it's just kinder this way.

When you leave me crippled because of your need to expel things from my body, why is it that when I do the things I should, like feed you water, and stretch, and other various ways of coping.. you still have to punch me from the inside? Again, we share the same space, and if you keep this up, I may find myself asking you to move out. Please respect my personal space, and I will in turn continue to respect yours.

I hope you understand that I love you, and I know you have your reasons for doing all of the above, however, I hope that with this little conversation we have had, you will remember that you affect the lives of others.

Yours truly,

Lauren

mentalblock.

I can't think of anything to write lately, I've had a serious mental block. 

I want to write, I want to express so much... but I just can't find the words to do it.

Stressful Times.

Lately, I have been under a lot of pressure at work. We have had a new Kisok installed so that we could keep up with mall standards, making everything look a lot nicer. I was SO excited for this event, because it meant that I could finally call it my own! So the big day comes, and me and a co-worker were here to set it all up.. well things just kept going wrong, and eventually I just broke down in tears.  It just all got to be too much. I don't know if it was the stress, or the other things going on in my life, however.. It was just too much.

I find that with everything thats goin on in my life, from some uphill personal battles, to work battles, to rearing children battles, that sometimes you need to just take a step away from things, and regroup.. but right now, I am at a loss on how to do that.

I need to start taking the time for me again. I haven't practiced yoga or meditation since Febuary, when I got quite ill, I have been content just to sleep all the time, and now I am missing out on the fantastic weather we've had as well.

On a brighter note, I have now "hired" myself an amazing counsellor to assist with a lot of the things I am dealing with in my personal life. She is the woman I spoke of a few months ago, and she is one of the few people who I really think would be able to help me through, and give me techniques to find myself. I am working really hard these days at just being real, and being me, however, finding that person when you've buried her due to whatever life has thrown at you is quite hard.

I also recently ended a long term relationship/friendship. This relationship has been toxic for me for as long as I can remember, however I found I was holding onto it for some very insecurity based reasons. The romantic relationship itself ended long ago, but I continued the emotional aspects of it till about January/Febuary, when I decided that it was just me stringing him along because of my own anger, and my own resentment. I officially ended the friendship as well, because it was just as toxic.

So, as stressed as I am, I am making some pretty large changes in my life, the way I often do when I realize something in the way I am isn't working the way it should, but this time, instead of trying to "change me", I am trying to find me again. The me thats buried down deep inside me, thats screaming to be let out.

I have committed to 10+ mins a day of physical activity again, we have these great little parks here that have stand alone gym equipment that is based on using your own body weight, so I am stoked to be doing that nightly on my way home from work, and recently a friend and I have decided that riding bikes to work would be awesome too.

So hopefully I'll be following up on everything sooner than later, I need to get into writing again, but I recently have felt like this wasn't a safe place to share my thoughts.

Be well.