I have always had a hard time with meditation. It is something that I still struggle with, to still the mind.
My mind is always active, it never ceases to have thoughts. I have tried so many different ways to acknowledge the thought, and move on, however, I can't seem to get to the point where I don't dwell on single thoughts.
"Is my coffee maker on?" Can't do anything right now, move on.
"Gosh, I have so much laundry to do" Well, that stinks, now I know I'll do it later, move on.
"Oh god, am I going to be okay till payday?" - - -
So many things like this pass through my mind. I can't still them.
Now, on top of the hour to two hours I spend at the gym, I also toss in some swimming. I have noticed when I am simply floating on my back, head under the water, there can be 500 kids in the swimming pool, and there is NOTHING in my head. That is the place I yearn to find when I am meditating. I find that I can float there for 10, even 15 mins, without a care in the world.
How do you find your moments of Zen?
Maybe the words you share will inspire others!
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Trendsetting in a Goalless World.
I read back through my blog often. I like to see my creative moments, and my thoughtfulness, see where my mind has gone. It looks like a lot of this was written recently, however a lot of it was poetry I wrote, compiled from a few different sources, combined here.
There are two posts I often read over and over again, but the one I'm interested in sharing, or re-sharing is this one because to me its really powerful.
"If I could do anything before I die, it would help people realize their own potential, that they are wonderful, that they are unique and special, that nothing in their pasts their present or their future should ever make them feel less than amazing. Less than what they are, because we are ALL capable of being amazing! We are ALL amazing."
It reminds me that we're all on our own path to finding something, and with teaching yoga, I think that I can achieve the above quote. I want to help people, help them find inner peace, love, acceptance, health, joy. I want to listen to their experiences, and share in their pain, make friends, and help people move on. Yoga is a nurturing, loving experience if you let it be. Most just take it for it's health benefits, but it's so much more.
As I end this year 2010, and move into 2011 with a new focus and new goals for life, I invite you to share with me your goals for 2011. I don't want to call them resolutions, because for most of us, its something we spew out and forget about. Instead, tell me some goals for 2011.
I have a few more since I wrote my last list.
My goals for 2011 are:
Take 4 dance classes.
Take the yogi training course.
Start looking into opening a yoga studio, one that caters to the low income families. I don't think that yoga (because its such a huge practice) is doing enough to help everyone. 12-20 bucks for drop in is crazy to me.
Lose 5-30 lbs (i'll be realistic)
Swim/work out 5 days a week.
Take 4 dance classes.
Take the yogi training course.
Start looking into opening a yoga studio, one that caters to the low income families. I don't think that yoga (because its such a huge practice) is doing enough to help everyone. 12-20 bucks for drop in is crazy to me.
Lose 5-30 lbs (i'll be realistic)
Swim/work out 5 days a week.
The additions at this time would be
Look into Buddhism and spirituality, and see how they fit into my life
Read more, Compute less.
Revert back into a vegan lifestyle.
Take more vitamins!
Goals. Easily attained. Short term, long term, ideas, anything - Share them with me here!
Most of you who are reading this, are able to even leave them as anonymous lists - you can check back on them, without fearing that anyone else knows what you have planned!
So do it. Share with me your Goals for 2011.
Namaste.
Saturday, December 18, 2010
December 21st, the Winter Solstice.
This years Solstice boasts something of an anomaly. We are experiencing our first lunar eclipse on the night of the Solstice in almost 500 years.
(click here to read article)
This is a time for renewal of the earth, a better period for the next 500 years. A time where we can reflect, and change, knowing that the earth is also renewing itself.
What will you do to celebrate Solstice this year?
(click here to read article)
This is a time for renewal of the earth, a better period for the next 500 years. A time where we can reflect, and change, knowing that the earth is also renewing itself.
What will you do to celebrate Solstice this year?
Starting the Road to my goals.
I have purchased a couple of books to lead me towards my goals as a yoga teacher.
I purchased one on teaching, its an amazing book. I am in love with it already.
The second is one from BKS Iyengar, he's one of the leading yogi's in the world. He's so incredibly bendy.
I have been keeping real, and going to the gym as daily as I can with work. Went last night, and my core is thanking me for everything I did. I'm going again today, doing more core activities. I've discovered the love of the half instability ball. Those things are damned amazing.
I have determined that the places that need the most work from me are my abdominals and my triceps, the rest are doing pretty well, I'm having a hard time fatiguing any of my other muscles.
Then of course to top it off with a swim, is awesome. I just have a few gripes about the pool where I go to the gym, mostly because they don't have dedicated lanes. I mean even one would be nice.
Speaking of working out, I really should add some songs to my ipod to go nuts to. ;)
Till I write again.
I purchased one on teaching, its an amazing book. I am in love with it already.
The second is one from BKS Iyengar, he's one of the leading yogi's in the world. He's so incredibly bendy.
I have been keeping real, and going to the gym as daily as I can with work. Went last night, and my core is thanking me for everything I did. I'm going again today, doing more core activities. I've discovered the love of the half instability ball. Those things are damned amazing.
I have determined that the places that need the most work from me are my abdominals and my triceps, the rest are doing pretty well, I'm having a hard time fatiguing any of my other muscles.
Then of course to top it off with a swim, is awesome. I just have a few gripes about the pool where I go to the gym, mostly because they don't have dedicated lanes. I mean even one would be nice.
Speaking of working out, I really should add some songs to my ipod to go nuts to. ;)
Till I write again.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Things for the future.
I've hit another period of reflection, and I've had some focus regain in my life again.
Athletics are playing a huge part in my future at this point. I've decided that in the next few months, I want to take a yogi course, to be able to teach yoga. I want to open the gift of yoga up more to people, and I find that with all the yoga that is available, there isn't a cost effective option for low income people, and yoga should be available for all.
Today marks starting at the gym hard again. Right before Christmas will help me maintain my goals into the new year.
My goals for 2011 are:
Take 4 dance classes.
Take the yogi training course.
Start looking into opening a yoga studio, one that caters to the low income families. I don't think that yoga (because its such a huge practice) is doing enough to help everyone. 12-20 bucks for drop in is crazy to me.
Lose 5-30 lbs (i'll be realistic)
Swim/work out 5 days a week.
I'm thinking this is a good start to what I want to accomplish for now. I may add/improve upon this list as time goes by, but for now, I feel good about my choices.
Athletics are playing a huge part in my future at this point. I've decided that in the next few months, I want to take a yogi course, to be able to teach yoga. I want to open the gift of yoga up more to people, and I find that with all the yoga that is available, there isn't a cost effective option for low income people, and yoga should be available for all.
Today marks starting at the gym hard again. Right before Christmas will help me maintain my goals into the new year.
My goals for 2011 are:
Take 4 dance classes.
Take the yogi training course.
Start looking into opening a yoga studio, one that caters to the low income families. I don't think that yoga (because its such a huge practice) is doing enough to help everyone. 12-20 bucks for drop in is crazy to me.
Lose 5-30 lbs (i'll be realistic)
Swim/work out 5 days a week.
I'm thinking this is a good start to what I want to accomplish for now. I may add/improve upon this list as time goes by, but for now, I feel good about my choices.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Something about a Sunday.
There's something about a Sunday, that I can't quite put my finger on.
I don't really remember when it became my day to accomplish all my housework, or to move furniture around, or to sort or organize. I find that I have a hard time if my Sunday isn't filled with all sorts of cleaning. It's like the right way for me to start my week or something.. The house is clean and so am I?
This Sunday was full of changing my bedroom around. I love that I have this little haven to call my own, complete with media outlets, a little slice of relaxation, my own personal little romantic abode.
What do you like to fill your Sundays with?
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Curiosity.
Sometimes I want to understand the human mind more than I do. I was thinking last night about how many people live life with fears. Fears of being themselves and not being accepted. Fears of doing the "wrong" things. Fears that they'll lose what they have. General fears. Pointed fears. Small fears. Tall Fears.
I was asked last night, how I became the way I am. How I pushed fears away, how I stopped having regrets, how I learned to love, without expectation.
I really don't know how I became the way that I am, which is where the human mind curiosity gets me going. Part of me got sick of having expectations of people and being let down. Realizing that only I could control my happiness, that I was the only able to change my future, to have control over my successes and failures.
I used to be afraid of everything. Especially when I became a mother, that made a lot of it worse. I was afraid that I wasn't going to be good enough as a mother. That an earthquake would happen when I was at work one day, and we'd be separated. That I wasn't going to be able to put her in a good school, or give her everything she wanted/needed. Was I ever going to have a good job? Provide myself enough income to shop for clothes once every few months? Have a nest egg, buy a home, buy a car... so many fears, so many worries.
Then almost as if by magic, I woke up one day realizing that I had zero control over some of those things, and I only had personal control of others. I split them up, and let go of the stupid ones, the ones I could not control, no matter HOW much I wanted to. I took the other ones, and filed them as goals as opposed to worries. I decided, that only *I* was going to be able to deal with them.
I read a lot. A lot of "self help" relaxation, life control, type books, weblogs, articles. Steve Pavlina was one of the most influential blogs I read. It's not what he said, as much as it was how he said it. It started with finding a website about adjusting my sleep patterns, to be able to get up at 5am, since I was never able to get up without complaining before 9 am, and I NEEDED to fix that. It just kinda went from there. There are always sidebars to his other articles, and I think I spent almost 4 days just reading through this site while I was working.
A few years later I came across this article (in fact the website itself is a great read, lots of articles) and I read it through a few times.
Now, I am one of those people who reads a lot, and I can take or leave the information that's there. I don't read something and go "THATS EXACTLY HOW I HAVE TO LIVE MY LIFE" because that would be foolish. I am horrible at committing to things. I can't commit to 6 weeks of the gym every day, I can't commit to 6 weeks of healthy eating, or 6 weeks of getting up at 5am, or anything like that. In fact if there was a blog that could teach me commitment, I'd read up on that!
..back to my point. Reading has encouraged a lot of personal freedom for me. I always hated how I felt about myself. I hated how I felt about life, about my "short comings" what I "wasn't given" as a child.. blah blah blah. I realized that I wasn't the only one who felt that way. I've noticed since I have made a conscious decision to change the way that I view my life and my world and the things around me, the more I notice how many people are in pain. How many people are unhappy with themselves, their lives, their pasts. It makes me hurt for them.
If I could do anything before I die, it would help people realize their own potential, that they are wonderful, that they are unique and special, that nothing in their pasts their present or their future should ever make them feel less than amazing. Less than what they are, because we are ALL capable of being amazing! We are ALL amazing.
I must end this ramble... :)
Take your life by the kahonas. Know that you are the only one that is capable of making the changes necessary for your own happiness!
And remember, I believe in you, and at any step of your road, you can lean on me, for love, patience and understanding. To help with the hiccups, the bumps and the joys. I'm here for you!
I was asked last night, how I became the way I am. How I pushed fears away, how I stopped having regrets, how I learned to love, without expectation.
I really don't know how I became the way that I am, which is where the human mind curiosity gets me going. Part of me got sick of having expectations of people and being let down. Realizing that only I could control my happiness, that I was the only able to change my future, to have control over my successes and failures.
I used to be afraid of everything. Especially when I became a mother, that made a lot of it worse. I was afraid that I wasn't going to be good enough as a mother. That an earthquake would happen when I was at work one day, and we'd be separated. That I wasn't going to be able to put her in a good school, or give her everything she wanted/needed. Was I ever going to have a good job? Provide myself enough income to shop for clothes once every few months? Have a nest egg, buy a home, buy a car... so many fears, so many worries.
Then almost as if by magic, I woke up one day realizing that I had zero control over some of those things, and I only had personal control of others. I split them up, and let go of the stupid ones, the ones I could not control, no matter HOW much I wanted to. I took the other ones, and filed them as goals as opposed to worries. I decided, that only *I* was going to be able to deal with them.
I read a lot. A lot of "self help" relaxation, life control, type books, weblogs, articles. Steve Pavlina was one of the most influential blogs I read. It's not what he said, as much as it was how he said it. It started with finding a website about adjusting my sleep patterns, to be able to get up at 5am, since I was never able to get up without complaining before 9 am, and I NEEDED to fix that. It just kinda went from there. There are always sidebars to his other articles, and I think I spent almost 4 days just reading through this site while I was working.
A few years later I came across this article (in fact the website itself is a great read, lots of articles) and I read it through a few times.
Now, I am one of those people who reads a lot, and I can take or leave the information that's there. I don't read something and go "THATS EXACTLY HOW I HAVE TO LIVE MY LIFE" because that would be foolish. I am horrible at committing to things. I can't commit to 6 weeks of the gym every day, I can't commit to 6 weeks of healthy eating, or 6 weeks of getting up at 5am, or anything like that. In fact if there was a blog that could teach me commitment, I'd read up on that!
..back to my point. Reading has encouraged a lot of personal freedom for me. I always hated how I felt about myself. I hated how I felt about life, about my "short comings" what I "wasn't given" as a child.. blah blah blah. I realized that I wasn't the only one who felt that way. I've noticed since I have made a conscious decision to change the way that I view my life and my world and the things around me, the more I notice how many people are in pain. How many people are unhappy with themselves, their lives, their pasts. It makes me hurt for them.
If I could do anything before I die, it would help people realize their own potential, that they are wonderful, that they are unique and special, that nothing in their pasts their present or their future should ever make them feel less than amazing. Less than what they are, because we are ALL capable of being amazing! We are ALL amazing.
I must end this ramble... :)
Take your life by the kahonas. Know that you are the only one that is capable of making the changes necessary for your own happiness!
And remember, I believe in you, and at any step of your road, you can lean on me, for love, patience and understanding. To help with the hiccups, the bumps and the joys. I'm here for you!
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