108 beads on a thread.

..and the 109th is where a mantra grows into fruition.

I'm sitting outside watching each individual snowflake fall, knowing that each one is unique, and inside I am filled with inner peace. It's an odd feeling for someone who used to worry about so many things that weren't in her control.

I have taken upon myself a 40 day mantra path, one that is to remove those things (known and unknown) that may stand in the way of fulfilling a specific desire. The mantra is a fusion of the principles of consciousness and energy so that they blossom in the mind, and consciousness, they will reveal how to actively work with the conditions in which you find yourself.



In Sanskrit

Shrim Hrim
Klim
Glaum 
Gum
Sarva
Swaha


With each repetition of the mantra, you move your thumb along the beads...

I didn't realize how therapeutic it would be. I felt a renewed sense of soul.
Holding them in my hands, I feel their calm sense of continuity.

Today is another day where I find more connection in my life, more in my soul. I am so happy you're taking this journey with me, even if you're just reading along.

Namaste.

Finding tomorrow through today.

I have embarked upon this path, with eyes wide open, and no expectations. I find every day that there is much to focus on, things that I can soften, more ways to be compassionate.

I have found that I am finding ways to ask for forgiveness to those I have wronged, and am forgiving those I feel have harmed me. It's very freeing to let go of a lot of anger, and anguish, and guilt. No one told me that it was so easy! (okay, well I was told it was easy, but I never really believed it.)

There is no better way to free your soul than to say thank you for lessons learned, and to say sorry if you've wronged someone. Compassion and caring, are the keys to seeing life with eyes wide open.

If I've ever hurt you, I am sorry.

How do you let things go? Do you hold onto the things that would be freeing to release?

The Paths that Lead Us.

Do you ever get the feeling that you're supposed to do more with what you were given?

I've spent years trying to figure out what I was supposed to do with all the gifts I was blessed with. What do I want to "be", what do I want to "do". I used to look at income prospects, but all the things that would make amazing money, required amazing output financially in the beginning, and well, I just didn't have that. I used to look at ways to help people. Being a nurse, or a social worker. A police officer was up there for years.

I took a chance when I moved here 5 months ago. A chance for a new life, a chance for a change, a chance to see different things. I didn't realize that it would be the beginning of both a physical and spiritual transformation for me. I had nothing pulling at me to make choices, all I had to do, was be.

Just be.

It's taken a long time, but I am at peace with myself. I love me, not in a conceited sort of way - but more, the things I can't change, I adore anyways, and the things I can, I always take the path to changing it.

The only thing I haven't done, is given into my desire to be a spiritual being. I spent too much time focusing on the logic behind the religion itself. The reasons WHY I didn't want to be a Christian/Catholic/Jew/Muslim/atheist, instead of why I wanted to find more to life. The only religion that ever made sense to me, even with limited knowledge on the subject is Buddhism, so when my sense of curiosity over religion overcame me again, this was the one I was drawn towards.

I think that my passion is going to lay in studying Buddhism for the next while. Learning, living, being.

Namaste.

The Sky Brings Us Closer

Just a quick one, but I'm sharing the Eclipse with my Best Friend.

<3

Over the River and Through the Woods.

Today, I had one of those days, you know, the Mondays you dread. Yep, one of those. I had a case of the Mondays, and if someone had said that to me today, I probably would have snapped. *g*

My boss found everything possible to be irritating with, the night shift forgot to do something they were supposed to do to make my life easier, I forgot my radio not once, but TWICE, I locked myself out of my vehicle at work, and had to call for help, and then I had to stand outside twice in the blistering cold (Think -26 with windchill).

I NEEDED the gym today. I couldn't think of anything else but during the last 4 hours of a totally brutal 12 hour shift.

I walked in the door, and instantly I felt relieved. I got on the bike, and bitched about work, and I noticed I rode harder and faster than I've ridden in a long time, and I hit that plateau of "I think I might die", and then plowed right through it. I did 250 weighted crunches (or the way I do them is holding the weight balls, on a balance ball) I did 70 weighted squats on the balance board, and then finished off with a delicious 10 more mins on the elliptical.

I feel amazing.

What do you do to get through your plateau at the gym? What's your favourite exercise?

Share your thoughts with me, and enjoy this Winter Solstice, while looking at the gorgeous eclipse! There won't be another for many hundreds of years.

Peace be with you :)

Coming into Awareness

I have always had a hard time with meditation. It is something that I still struggle with, to still the mind.
My mind is always active, it never ceases to have thoughts. I have tried so many different ways to acknowledge the thought, and move on, however, I can't seem to get to the point where I don't dwell on single thoughts.

"Is my coffee maker on?" Can't do anything right now, move on. 
"Gosh, I have so much laundry to do" Well, that stinks, now I know I'll do it later, move on.
"Oh god, am I going to be okay till payday?" - - -

So many things like this pass through my mind. I can't still them.

Now, on top of the hour to two hours I spend at the gym, I also toss in some swimming. I have noticed when I am simply floating on my back, head under the water, there can be 500 kids in the swimming pool, and there is NOTHING in my head. That is the place I yearn to find when I am meditating. I find that I can float there for 10, even 15 mins, without a care in the world.

How do you find your moments of Zen?

Maybe the words you share will inspire others!

Trendsetting in a Goalless World.

I read back through my blog often. I like to see my creative moments, and my thoughtfulness, see where my mind has gone. It looks like a lot of this was written recently, however a lot of it was poetry I wrote, compiled from a few different sources, combined here.

There are two posts I often read over and over again, but the one I'm interested in sharing, or re-sharing is this one because to me its really powerful.

"If I could do anything before I die, it would help people realize their own potential, that they are wonderful, that they are unique and special, that nothing in their pasts their present or their future should ever make them feel less than amazing. Less than what they are, because we are ALL capable of being amazing! We are ALL amazing."

It reminds me that we're all on our own path to finding something, and with teaching yoga, I think that I can achieve the above quote.  I want to help people, help them find inner peace, love, acceptance, health, joy. I want to listen to their experiences, and share in their pain, make friends, and help people move on. Yoga is a nurturing, loving experience if you let it be. Most just take it for it's health benefits, but it's so much more. 

As I end this year 2010, and move into 2011 with a new focus and new goals for life, I invite you to share with me your goals for 2011. I don't want to call them resolutions, because for most of us, its something we spew out and forget about. Instead, tell me some goals for 2011. 

I have a few more since I wrote my last list. 

My goals for 2011 are:

Take 4 dance classes.
Take the yogi training course.
Start looking into opening a yoga studio, one that caters to the low income families. I don't think that yoga (because its such a huge practice) is doing enough to help everyone. 12-20 bucks for drop in is crazy to me.
Lose 5-30 lbs (i'll be realistic)
Swim/work out 5 days a week.

The additions at this time would be

Look into Buddhism and spirituality, and see how they fit into my life

Read more, Compute less. 

Revert back into a vegan lifestyle.

Take more vitamins!

Goals. Easily attained. Short term, long term, ideas, anything - Share them with me here!

Most of you who are reading this, are able to even leave them as anonymous lists - you can check back on them, without fearing that anyone else knows what you have planned!

So do it. Share with me your Goals for 2011. 

Namaste. 

December 21st, the Winter Solstice.

This years Solstice boasts something of an anomaly. We are experiencing our first lunar eclipse on the night of the Solstice in almost 500 years.

(click here to read article)

This is a time for renewal of the earth, a better period for the next 500 years. A time where we can reflect, and change, knowing that the earth is also renewing itself.

What will you do to celebrate Solstice this year?

Starting the Road to my goals.

I have purchased a couple of books to lead me towards my goals as a yoga teacher.

I purchased one on teaching, its an amazing book. I am in love with it already.
The second is one from BKS Iyengar, he's one of the leading yogi's in the world. He's so incredibly bendy.

I have been keeping real, and going to the gym as daily as I can with work. Went last night, and my core is thanking me for everything I did. I'm going again today, doing more core activities. I've discovered the love of the half instability ball. Those things are damned amazing.

I have determined that the places that need the most work from me are my abdominals and my triceps, the rest are doing pretty well, I'm having a hard time fatiguing any of my other muscles.

Then of course to top it off with a swim, is awesome. I just have a few gripes about the pool where I go to the gym, mostly because they don't have dedicated lanes. I mean even one would be nice.

Speaking of working out, I really should add some songs to my ipod to go nuts to. ;)

Till I write again.

Things for the future.

I've hit another period of reflection, and I've had some focus regain in my life again.

Athletics are playing a huge part in my future at this point. I've decided that in the next few months, I want to take a yogi course, to be able to teach yoga. I want to open the gift of yoga up more to people, and I find that with all the yoga that is available, there isn't a cost effective option for low income people, and yoga should be available for all.

Today marks starting at the gym hard again. Right before Christmas will help me maintain my goals into the new year.

My goals for 2011 are:

Take 4 dance classes.
Take the yogi training course.
Start looking into opening a yoga studio, one that caters to the low income families. I don't think that yoga (because its such a huge practice) is doing enough to help everyone. 12-20 bucks for drop in is crazy to me.
Lose 5-30 lbs (i'll be realistic)
Swim/work out 5 days a week.

I'm thinking this is a good start to what I want to accomplish for now. I may add/improve upon this list as time goes by, but for now, I feel good about my choices.