Lately, I have been under a lot of pressure at work. We have had a new Kisok installed so that we could keep up with mall standards, making everything look a lot nicer. I was SO excited for this event, because it meant that I could finally call it my own! So the big day comes, and me and a co-worker were here to set it all up.. well things just kept going wrong, and eventually I just broke down in tears. It just all got to be too much. I don't know if it was the stress, or the other things going on in my life, however.. It was just too much.
I find that with everything thats goin on in my life, from some uphill personal battles, to work battles, to rearing children battles, that sometimes you need to just take a step away from things, and regroup.. but right now, I am at a loss on how to do that.
I need to start taking the time for me again. I haven't practiced yoga or meditation since Febuary, when I got quite ill, I have been content just to sleep all the time, and now I am missing out on the fantastic weather we've had as well.
On a brighter note, I have now "hired" myself an amazing counsellor to assist with a lot of the things I am dealing with in my personal life. She is the woman I spoke of a few months ago, and she is one of the few people who I really think would be able to help me through, and give me techniques to find myself. I am working really hard these days at just being real, and being me, however, finding that person when you've buried her due to whatever life has thrown at you is quite hard.
I also recently ended a long term relationship/friendship. This relationship has been toxic for me for as long as I can remember, however I found I was holding onto it for some very insecurity based reasons. The romantic relationship itself ended long ago, but I continued the emotional aspects of it till about January/Febuary, when I decided that it was just me stringing him along because of my own anger, and my own resentment. I officially ended the friendship as well, because it was just as toxic.
So, as stressed as I am, I am making some pretty large changes in my life, the way I often do when I realize something in the way I am isn't working the way it should, but this time, instead of trying to "change me", I am trying to find me again. The me thats buried down deep inside me, thats screaming to be let out.
I have committed to 10+ mins a day of physical activity again, we have these great little parks here that have stand alone gym equipment that is based on using your own body weight, so I am stoked to be doing that nightly on my way home from work, and recently a friend and I have decided that riding bikes to work would be awesome too.
So hopefully I'll be following up on everything sooner than later, I need to get into writing again, but I recently have felt like this wasn't a safe place to share my thoughts.
Be well.
I find that with everything thats goin on in my life, from some uphill personal battles, to work battles, to rearing children battles, that sometimes you need to just take a step away from things, and regroup.. but right now, I am at a loss on how to do that.
I need to start taking the time for me again. I haven't practiced yoga or meditation since Febuary, when I got quite ill, I have been content just to sleep all the time, and now I am missing out on the fantastic weather we've had as well.
On a brighter note, I have now "hired" myself an amazing counsellor to assist with a lot of the things I am dealing with in my personal life. She is the woman I spoke of a few months ago, and she is one of the few people who I really think would be able to help me through, and give me techniques to find myself. I am working really hard these days at just being real, and being me, however, finding that person when you've buried her due to whatever life has thrown at you is quite hard.
I also recently ended a long term relationship/friendship. This relationship has been toxic for me for as long as I can remember, however I found I was holding onto it for some very insecurity based reasons. The romantic relationship itself ended long ago, but I continued the emotional aspects of it till about January/Febuary, when I decided that it was just me stringing him along because of my own anger, and my own resentment. I officially ended the friendship as well, because it was just as toxic.
So, as stressed as I am, I am making some pretty large changes in my life, the way I often do when I realize something in the way I am isn't working the way it should, but this time, instead of trying to "change me", I am trying to find me again. The me thats buried down deep inside me, thats screaming to be let out.
I have committed to 10+ mins a day of physical activity again, we have these great little parks here that have stand alone gym equipment that is based on using your own body weight, so I am stoked to be doing that nightly on my way home from work, and recently a friend and I have decided that riding bikes to work would be awesome too.
So hopefully I'll be following up on everything sooner than later, I need to get into writing again, but I recently have felt like this wasn't a safe place to share my thoughts.
Be well.
