108 beads on a thread.

..and the 109th is where a mantra grows into fruition.

I'm sitting outside watching each individual snowflake fall, knowing that each one is unique, and inside I am filled with inner peace. It's an odd feeling for someone who used to worry about so many things that weren't in her control.

I have taken upon myself a 40 day mantra path, one that is to remove those things (known and unknown) that may stand in the way of fulfilling a specific desire. The mantra is a fusion of the principles of consciousness and energy so that they blossom in the mind, and consciousness, they will reveal how to actively work with the conditions in which you find yourself.



In Sanskrit

Shrim Hrim
Klim
Glaum 
Gum
Sarva
Swaha


With each repetition of the mantra, you move your thumb along the beads...

I didn't realize how therapeutic it would be. I felt a renewed sense of soul.
Holding them in my hands, I feel their calm sense of continuity.

Today is another day where I find more connection in my life, more in my soul. I am so happy you're taking this journey with me, even if you're just reading along.

Namaste.

Finding tomorrow through today.

I have embarked upon this path, with eyes wide open, and no expectations. I find every day that there is much to focus on, things that I can soften, more ways to be compassionate.

I have found that I am finding ways to ask for forgiveness to those I have wronged, and am forgiving those I feel have harmed me. It's very freeing to let go of a lot of anger, and anguish, and guilt. No one told me that it was so easy! (okay, well I was told it was easy, but I never really believed it.)

There is no better way to free your soul than to say thank you for lessons learned, and to say sorry if you've wronged someone. Compassion and caring, are the keys to seeing life with eyes wide open.

If I've ever hurt you, I am sorry.

How do you let things go? Do you hold onto the things that would be freeing to release?

The Paths that Lead Us.

Do you ever get the feeling that you're supposed to do more with what you were given?

I've spent years trying to figure out what I was supposed to do with all the gifts I was blessed with. What do I want to "be", what do I want to "do". I used to look at income prospects, but all the things that would make amazing money, required amazing output financially in the beginning, and well, I just didn't have that. I used to look at ways to help people. Being a nurse, or a social worker. A police officer was up there for years.

I took a chance when I moved here 5 months ago. A chance for a new life, a chance for a change, a chance to see different things. I didn't realize that it would be the beginning of both a physical and spiritual transformation for me. I had nothing pulling at me to make choices, all I had to do, was be.

Just be.

It's taken a long time, but I am at peace with myself. I love me, not in a conceited sort of way - but more, the things I can't change, I adore anyways, and the things I can, I always take the path to changing it.

The only thing I haven't done, is given into my desire to be a spiritual being. I spent too much time focusing on the logic behind the religion itself. The reasons WHY I didn't want to be a Christian/Catholic/Jew/Muslim/atheist, instead of why I wanted to find more to life. The only religion that ever made sense to me, even with limited knowledge on the subject is Buddhism, so when my sense of curiosity over religion overcame me again, this was the one I was drawn towards.

I think that my passion is going to lay in studying Buddhism for the next while. Learning, living, being.

Namaste.

The Sky Brings Us Closer

Just a quick one, but I'm sharing the Eclipse with my Best Friend.

<3

Over the River and Through the Woods.

Today, I had one of those days, you know, the Mondays you dread. Yep, one of those. I had a case of the Mondays, and if someone had said that to me today, I probably would have snapped. *g*

My boss found everything possible to be irritating with, the night shift forgot to do something they were supposed to do to make my life easier, I forgot my radio not once, but TWICE, I locked myself out of my vehicle at work, and had to call for help, and then I had to stand outside twice in the blistering cold (Think -26 with windchill).

I NEEDED the gym today. I couldn't think of anything else but during the last 4 hours of a totally brutal 12 hour shift.

I walked in the door, and instantly I felt relieved. I got on the bike, and bitched about work, and I noticed I rode harder and faster than I've ridden in a long time, and I hit that plateau of "I think I might die", and then plowed right through it. I did 250 weighted crunches (or the way I do them is holding the weight balls, on a balance ball) I did 70 weighted squats on the balance board, and then finished off with a delicious 10 more mins on the elliptical.

I feel amazing.

What do you do to get through your plateau at the gym? What's your favourite exercise?

Share your thoughts with me, and enjoy this Winter Solstice, while looking at the gorgeous eclipse! There won't be another for many hundreds of years.

Peace be with you :)

Coming into Awareness

I have always had a hard time with meditation. It is something that I still struggle with, to still the mind.
My mind is always active, it never ceases to have thoughts. I have tried so many different ways to acknowledge the thought, and move on, however, I can't seem to get to the point where I don't dwell on single thoughts.

"Is my coffee maker on?" Can't do anything right now, move on. 
"Gosh, I have so much laundry to do" Well, that stinks, now I know I'll do it later, move on.
"Oh god, am I going to be okay till payday?" - - -

So many things like this pass through my mind. I can't still them.

Now, on top of the hour to two hours I spend at the gym, I also toss in some swimming. I have noticed when I am simply floating on my back, head under the water, there can be 500 kids in the swimming pool, and there is NOTHING in my head. That is the place I yearn to find when I am meditating. I find that I can float there for 10, even 15 mins, without a care in the world.

How do you find your moments of Zen?

Maybe the words you share will inspire others!

Trendsetting in a Goalless World.

I read back through my blog often. I like to see my creative moments, and my thoughtfulness, see where my mind has gone. It looks like a lot of this was written recently, however a lot of it was poetry I wrote, compiled from a few different sources, combined here.

There are two posts I often read over and over again, but the one I'm interested in sharing, or re-sharing is this one because to me its really powerful.

"If I could do anything before I die, it would help people realize their own potential, that they are wonderful, that they are unique and special, that nothing in their pasts their present or their future should ever make them feel less than amazing. Less than what they are, because we are ALL capable of being amazing! We are ALL amazing."

It reminds me that we're all on our own path to finding something, and with teaching yoga, I think that I can achieve the above quote.  I want to help people, help them find inner peace, love, acceptance, health, joy. I want to listen to their experiences, and share in their pain, make friends, and help people move on. Yoga is a nurturing, loving experience if you let it be. Most just take it for it's health benefits, but it's so much more. 

As I end this year 2010, and move into 2011 with a new focus and new goals for life, I invite you to share with me your goals for 2011. I don't want to call them resolutions, because for most of us, its something we spew out and forget about. Instead, tell me some goals for 2011. 

I have a few more since I wrote my last list. 

My goals for 2011 are:

Take 4 dance classes.
Take the yogi training course.
Start looking into opening a yoga studio, one that caters to the low income families. I don't think that yoga (because its such a huge practice) is doing enough to help everyone. 12-20 bucks for drop in is crazy to me.
Lose 5-30 lbs (i'll be realistic)
Swim/work out 5 days a week.

The additions at this time would be

Look into Buddhism and spirituality, and see how they fit into my life

Read more, Compute less. 

Revert back into a vegan lifestyle.

Take more vitamins!

Goals. Easily attained. Short term, long term, ideas, anything - Share them with me here!

Most of you who are reading this, are able to even leave them as anonymous lists - you can check back on them, without fearing that anyone else knows what you have planned!

So do it. Share with me your Goals for 2011. 

Namaste. 

December 21st, the Winter Solstice.

This years Solstice boasts something of an anomaly. We are experiencing our first lunar eclipse on the night of the Solstice in almost 500 years.

(click here to read article)

This is a time for renewal of the earth, a better period for the next 500 years. A time where we can reflect, and change, knowing that the earth is also renewing itself.

What will you do to celebrate Solstice this year?

Starting the Road to my goals.

I have purchased a couple of books to lead me towards my goals as a yoga teacher.

I purchased one on teaching, its an amazing book. I am in love with it already.
The second is one from BKS Iyengar, he's one of the leading yogi's in the world. He's so incredibly bendy.

I have been keeping real, and going to the gym as daily as I can with work. Went last night, and my core is thanking me for everything I did. I'm going again today, doing more core activities. I've discovered the love of the half instability ball. Those things are damned amazing.

I have determined that the places that need the most work from me are my abdominals and my triceps, the rest are doing pretty well, I'm having a hard time fatiguing any of my other muscles.

Then of course to top it off with a swim, is awesome. I just have a few gripes about the pool where I go to the gym, mostly because they don't have dedicated lanes. I mean even one would be nice.

Speaking of working out, I really should add some songs to my ipod to go nuts to. ;)

Till I write again.

Things for the future.

I've hit another period of reflection, and I've had some focus regain in my life again.

Athletics are playing a huge part in my future at this point. I've decided that in the next few months, I want to take a yogi course, to be able to teach yoga. I want to open the gift of yoga up more to people, and I find that with all the yoga that is available, there isn't a cost effective option for low income people, and yoga should be available for all.

Today marks starting at the gym hard again. Right before Christmas will help me maintain my goals into the new year.

My goals for 2011 are:

Take 4 dance classes.
Take the yogi training course.
Start looking into opening a yoga studio, one that caters to the low income families. I don't think that yoga (because its such a huge practice) is doing enough to help everyone. 12-20 bucks for drop in is crazy to me.
Lose 5-30 lbs (i'll be realistic)
Swim/work out 5 days a week.

I'm thinking this is a good start to what I want to accomplish for now. I may add/improve upon this list as time goes by, but for now, I feel good about my choices.

Something about a Sunday.

There's something about a Sunday, that I can't quite put my finger on. 

I don't really remember when it became my day to accomplish all my housework, or to move furniture around, or to sort or organize. I find that I have a hard time if my Sunday isn't filled with all sorts of cleaning. It's like the right way for me to start my week or something.. The house is clean and so am I?

This Sunday was full of changing my bedroom around. I love that I have this little haven to call my own, complete with media outlets, a little slice of relaxation, my own personal little romantic abode. 

What do you like to fill your Sundays with?

Curiosity.

Sometimes I want to understand the human mind more than I do. I was thinking last night about how many people live life with fears. Fears of being themselves and not being accepted. Fears of doing the "wrong" things. Fears that they'll lose what they have. General fears. Pointed fears. Small fears. Tall Fears. 


I was asked last night, how I became the way I am. How I pushed fears away, how I stopped having regrets, how I learned to love, without expectation. 


I really don't know how I became the way that I am, which is where the human mind curiosity gets me going. Part of me got sick of having expectations of people and being let down. Realizing that only I could control my happiness, that I was the only able to change my future, to have control over my successes and failures. 


I used to be afraid of everything. Especially when I became a mother, that made a lot of it worse. I was afraid that I wasn't going to be good enough as a mother. That an earthquake would happen when I was at work one day, and we'd be separated. That I wasn't going to be able to put her in a good school, or give her everything she wanted/needed. Was I ever going to have a good job? Provide myself enough income to shop for clothes once every few months? Have a nest egg, buy a home, buy a car... so many fears, so many worries.


Then almost as if by magic, I woke up one day realizing that I had zero control over some of those things, and  I only had personal control of others. I split them up, and let go of the stupid ones, the ones I could not control, no matter HOW much I wanted to. I took the other ones, and filed them as goals as opposed to worries. I decided, that only *I* was going to be able to deal with them. 


I read a lot. A lot of "self help" relaxation, life control, type books, weblogs, articles. Steve Pavlina was one of the most influential blogs I read. It's not what he said, as much as it was how he said it. It started with finding a website about adjusting my sleep patterns, to be able to get up at 5am, since I was never able to get up without complaining before 9 am, and I NEEDED to fix that. It just kinda went from there. There are always sidebars to his other articles, and I think I spent almost 4 days just reading through this site while I was working. 


A few years later I came across this article (in fact the website itself is a great read, lots of articles) and I read it through a few times. 


Now, I am one of those people who reads a lot, and I can take or leave the information that's there. I don't read something and go "THATS EXACTLY HOW I HAVE TO LIVE MY LIFE" because that would be foolish. I am horrible at committing to things. I can't commit to 6 weeks of the gym every day, I can't commit to 6 weeks of healthy eating, or 6 weeks of getting up at 5am, or anything like that. In fact if there was a blog that could teach me commitment, I'd read up on that!


..back to my point. Reading has encouraged a lot of personal freedom for me. I always hated how I felt about myself. I hated how I felt about life, about my "short comings" what I "wasn't given" as a child.. blah blah blah. I realized that I wasn't the only one who felt that way. I've noticed since I have made a conscious decision to change the way that I view my life and my world and the things around me, the more I notice how many people are in pain. How many people are unhappy with themselves, their lives, their pasts. It makes me hurt for them. 


If I could do anything before I die, it would help people realize their own potential, that they are wonderful, that they are unique and special, that nothing in their pasts their present or their future should ever make them feel less than amazing. Less than what they are, because we are ALL capable of being amazing! We are ALL amazing. 


I must end this ramble... :)


Take your life by the kahonas. Know that you are the only one that is capable of making the changes necessary for your own happiness!


And remember, I believe in you, and at any step of your road, you can lean on me, for love, patience and understanding. To help with the hiccups, the bumps and the joys. I'm here for you!

A New Poem of Nonsensicles.

essence of power
strength defined
essence of womanhood
beauty defined
essence of lust
intimacy defined
open your eyes
everything is new
open your heart
its speaking to you. 
essence of calm
world defined
essence of beauty
souls created
essence of amazement
satisfaction guaranteed 

8 years old...

It's interesting, when your child(ren) start to get older. You realize that though you spent many years feeling limited to what you COULDN'T do, you now see that you're able to start doing them again! Let me tell you about 8.

8 is that wonderful year where they start to get some respect. Yep, that's right. Some Respect. They have bigger kids meals at restaurants for kids who are 8. Usually with something more grown up than "Would you like some goldfish shaped crackers?" "No, actually, we'll take the BIG KID meal.". That appeases her more than most. The big kid meal. 
8 is going to the community pool, and NOT having to go swimming with them. Yes parents, that's right. The age where parents can allow their child (in most pools) to swim without you hovering is 8. That means, that no longer do I have to squish my "marque du maman" body into a bathing suit. I can now, put her in a bathing suit, tighten her life jacket, and throw her into the pool, and GO TAKE MY YOGA CLASS. ..not to sound excited. but YAY.
8 is getting excited about things like road trips to other places, with the intent to stay awake. (note how I said intent, not ability) Talking, planning, getting everything organized, loading it into the car, getting into the car, going about 40 clicks, and I realize that I'm officially talking to myself about bakugan and finger skateboards. God forbid I want to change the music to the songs I like, seeing as she's not awake.. OH WAIT, Rhianna/Gwen Stefani/Pink stopped playing, I have to wake up and tell mommy not to change the music.
So I change it back, and she falls back asleep. (Small price to pay for enjoying the road trip with her, honestly)
8 is getting a bigger bike. You get rid of that small pink bike, and get your little tomboy an awesome BMX style black and red rockin' bike. You don't realize that the bumps and bruises also go up a size too. So, as you're feeling this sense of pride watching your little one, on this not-so-little bike, waving with your plaster goofy "Aw Mom, stop it" smile on your face, and it slowly changes to "Oh no, Mom's gonna be mad at something" face because you realize just how much the 5 Transformers band-aids are going to set you back at 2 falls a day, 5 X injury *screech*
8 is more homework than you remember doing at 8. Realizing that you don't have the skills to combat super hard grade 3 style math equasions. Feeling the shame when you write a note to the teacher saying "Alex's homework isn't done because I didn't fully understand the question" and then spending the rest of the day feeling like a dumbass.  "I can balance my check book, find area and mass, but I can't figure out the estimation on this diagram of building blocks?"

8 is wonderful. It's such a fun age - these ages go by so quickly. They stop being toddlers, and BAM, they're these little people. I say to parents out there... enjoy it, because in a blink of an eye, they're going to be these strong willed teenagers, who don't want to hang out with us because we're not cool. We're cool now!

New Beginnings

Have you ever opened your eyes and realized that everything around you is different? Not just "Oh look, someone moved the coffee table" different, but really realized its different?

I realized that I have embarked on something amazing with Alexandria. We're wholly alone - Family exists online, friends are more than 500 long miles away, but that's just to the closest friend, family is 1500 kilometers. To be honest? I'm okay with it! Nothing is as freeing, and scary, and wonderful, and awkward, and amazing as this adventure has been for us so far. Two months, and we're starting to be closer than we ever have been. Close like we were when she was the tiny little baby that I helped nurture into the child she is now. (and damnit, I've done a good job)

Sure, I'm lonely. There's no one to hold me, or share in my joys, or just snuggle up and watch a movie... but without that, I have found that I am okay with myself. When I thought I was at my weakest, I realized that I am really at my strongest. When I thought that Alexandria wouldn't have enough with just me, I realized that all she needs in life is my loving embrace to make the distance from her family not seem so far. 

She is thriving, just like I knew she would. We've had a couple of bumps in the road, but when you take the road less traveled you often run into little snags here and there. She is such a strong and beautiful little girl. She is getting the chance just to be a kid now, for the first time in as many years as I can remember. 

Just remember to hug your children often. I have to remember constantly that they're not perfect. That the light that shines from within them is something to be treasured, even if I've had a bad day. Their innocent joy will grow out of them, much like they outgrow bikes, soon enough, and to let them just... be carefree, and enjoy their childhood is the number one thing you can do.

And to just love them. Every day. As many times a day as you can. 

A mothers day poem

Today, I say I'm sorry for every time I've let you down, 

every time I've made you frown. 

For every grey hair that I have caused, 

and those I haven't. 

This is time to say thank you for everytime you've been there

and every time I wouldn't let you. 

For every time I needed you and wouldn't ask

and those I did. 

This is for not always knowing when you mean best

and for sometimes thinking you're a pest. 

For knowing how hard it was to raise me

and never taking time to appreciate it. 

This is for those times we'll go without talking

all those times where I'm so mad I can't stand it. 

For knowing that when I'm done being stubborn, 

You'll still love me. 

just breathe

How to do this without sounding like I'm complaining, or seeking sympathy, or feeling sorry for myself...

I am frustrated.

Have you ever had someone violate your personal space? Like, you did something for them  Maybe you were having a bad day, and someone looked at you funny and said "God YOU'RE in a bad mood" and maybe you just wanted to punch them in the face. Or you slaved all day on something delicious and your party goes "Uhm, I don't really like this!". *FWAP* I DON'T CARE IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, AMUSE ME DAMNIT.

I feel like covering my ears and closing my eyes and stomping my feet. I feel like screaming and cursing and flailing. I feel like crying into someones shoulder, and having them hold me tighter as my sobs increase. Just to get it out.

And then of course, there's that part of me who tells these notions to shut up, to just move on, get over it, deal with it. You'll be fine, you gotta suck it up, you gotta just deal, just get through today, tomorrow will be the same shit but maybe you'll see it with new eyes. What if you appear weak, what if someone sees you crumble.

1.2.3.4.5.6.7.8.9... breathe.

Simple

I don't say the right thing
but I'm speaking from the heart.
Im not going to be perfect,
but I'll be true to myself.
I may not have the answers,
but I'll help find them.
I won't always be strong
but I'll find strength in you.
I will be your sweetness
when your day has been bitter.
I can lift you up,
when you need a friend.
I am solid,
and I'll have your back.

Memories

Quiet kisses in the morning sunlight

tangled feet in the sheets

wind through my hair

windows down, music up

ice cream in bed

counting down the days

the hours

the minutes

for moments like those. 

Oriah Mountain Dreamer

"It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what
you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.
It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will
risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure
of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to
know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have
been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed
from fear of further pain!I want to know if you can sit with pain,
mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it, or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can
dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your
fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be
realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I
want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if
you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul;
if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every
day, and if you can source your own life from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and
still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the
full moon, “Yes!”

It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you
have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and
despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I
want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and
not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I
want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls
away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly
like the company you keep in the empty moments."

Hey

my feet leave the ground,
I struggle to keep them there.
Fighting against hope and want.
In the air, I'm not grounded,
I'm not invisible, I can't hide.
..but the air, feels so free
free, where I can just be.
But you can see me there
for who I am, the marks I wear
Come, join me in the air,
together, we can be safe
just put your hand in mine.

As a Mother

It starts with a test; remains one for years to come. One that is positive. You are positively pregnant. Experiencing joy, knowing that new life is forming in you.. and then it hits you. For the next lifetime, you are responsible for a life. You touch your flat belly, and wonder. Wonder what they'll look like, will it be a boy or a girl, will they be healthy, happy, what talents they'll possess. You experience sickness, and body changes. You research and discover things about yourself, about your bodies changing needs. You feel the life within you start to grow. Your stomach bears resemblance to a beach ball in the middle of a summers beach day. You wake up in the middle of the night, or stop what you're doing in the middle of the day... your stomach begins to ache, you know you get to meet your child. You go through what seems like endless hours of pain, you push, and you writhe, and you deliver a beautiful baby.

You nurture and love this tiny human, something so powerful, and yet so needy at the same time. You watch this tiny human grow, learning, changing, evolving. You smile at first words, and first steps. You feel immense amounts of overwhelming joy at times, and experience overwhelming fears, and frustrations too. You hear "No" for the first time, and hang a first drawn picture on the fridge. You handle three wheels, then training wheels, then two wheels. You have an exuberant amount of bandaids, and have gone through what seems like thousands, kissing every boo-boo, and trying not to cry because your child is in pain. You watch as they leave you for the first time to start school, and hold back your tears at the independence your child is gaining.
You share in behaviour issues, and growing pains. Tooth losses, and tooth fairies. Santa Clause, and the Easter Bunny. You may often feel like you're not doing enough, or wonder if you're doing the right things, exposing your child correctly to the world. If you show them you love them enough, or too much. If you're building their independence correctly, or smothering them. You get advise from family, and from unsavory choices - wondering if the advice you are being given is correct.

And then... you realize... your child is amazing. You HAVE done a fantastic job. Your child is happy, and healthy, and normal. That you are the best Mommy you can be. That your child loves you unconditionally.

Fancyfree

Joy.
Messy hair
Pillow conversation
Bedroom eyes
Happy sighs
Silent smiles
Tender embraces.

Simple words

Hold
Love
Squeeze
Touch
Laugh
Smell
Live
Breathe
Feel
Squirm
Smile
Lather
Rinse
Repeat

:)

Innocent joy

I heard her laugh
oh my... I heard her laugh.
she wiggled her toes!

oh my heart leaps
it jumps, and reels, and soars!
I don't want to come down from here.

the air is thin, and i'm light headed!
maybe its just her voice
i want her to catch me if i fall.

want to play tag?
you're it!
chase me!

you caught me!
don't ever let go now
not now that i've found you.

gumdrop kisses
placed on your stomach
just to watch you smile.

weightless

Me
I'm falling from the sky
Twirling and spinning down towards the earth
I'm weightless
I look down and see the land below
Rolling hills of the greenest pastures
Royal blue hues of the ocean
the wind through my hair sends chills through me
I'm decending through the crystal clear sky
not a cloud in sight
I can't believe the worlds beauty
I drink it in, thirsty for its life.
Falling, closer now.
I can see my landing spot
It's calling my name
I land...

You.

Death.

It is fragile...
Life.

I have lost people
We all lose people

They all go to better places.
Places filled with nirvana

We miss their earthly bodies,
and remember their souls.

We hold our thoughts clear
our memories close

we shed a tear
for a friend, family, lover's lost.

why cry?
When they are in sublime?

Why hurt?
They wouldn't want us to.

Just remember
hold on
never forget.

Past Reflections.

I close my eyes.
She dances through my mind
..Her hair twirling in the breeze
Her smell intoxicating my senses

I want to reach out and touch her
Shes just out of my reach
She has her back to me
She turns and smiles over her shoulder
Her white teeth like pearls

I follow after her
Playing her coy game of hide and seek in the trees
suddenly she is gone.
Confusion covers my face
Her scent pierces my nostrils
I lean against a tree breathless for just one moment
I close my eyes, and breathe her in.

I feel her lips on mine
I wrap my arms around her neck, and lose myself in her kiss
We melt into one another
Our tongues dancing silently together
Goosebumps cover my body
..the breeze, the scent, the embrace.

I open my eyes again
She isn't there
I taste her on my lips
She is divine, perfection encompassed in pale skin.
She has shown me beauty.