essence of power
strength defined
essence of womanhood
beauty defined
essence of lust
intimacy defined
open your eyes
everything is new
open your heart
its speaking to you.
essence of calm
world defined
essence of beauty
souls created
essence of amazement
satisfaction guaranteed
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Thursday, October 7, 2010
8 years old...
It's interesting, when your child(ren) start to get older. You realize that though you spent many years feeling limited to what you COULDN'T do, you now see that you're able to start doing them again! Let me tell you about 8.
8 is that wonderful year where they start to get some respect. Yep, that's right. Some Respect. They have bigger kids meals at restaurants for kids who are 8. Usually with something more grown up than "Would you like some goldfish shaped crackers?" "No, actually, we'll take the BIG KID meal.". That appeases her more than most. The big kid meal.
8 is going to the community pool, and NOT having to go swimming with them. Yes parents, that's right. The age where parents can allow their child (in most pools) to swim without you hovering is 8. That means, that no longer do I have to squish my "marque du maman" body into a bathing suit. I can now, put her in a bathing suit, tighten her life jacket, and throw her into the pool, and GO TAKE MY YOGA CLASS. ..not to sound excited. but YAY.
8 is getting excited about things like road trips to other places, with the intent to stay awake. (note how I said intent, not ability) Talking, planning, getting everything organized, loading it into the car, getting into the car, going about 40 clicks, and I realize that I'm officially talking to myself about bakugan and finger skateboards. God forbid I want to change the music to the songs I like, seeing as she's not awake.. OH WAIT, Rhianna/Gwen Stefani/Pink stopped playing, I have to wake up and tell mommy not to change the music.
So I change it back, and she falls back asleep. (Small price to pay for enjoying the road trip with her, honestly)
8 is getting a bigger bike. You get rid of that small pink bike, and get your little tomboy an awesome BMX style black and red rockin' bike. You don't realize that the bumps and bruises also go up a size too. So, as you're feeling this sense of pride watching your little one, on this not-so-little bike, waving with your plaster goofy "Aw Mom, stop it" smile on your face, and it slowly changes to "Oh no, Mom's gonna be mad at something" face because you realize just how much the 5 Transformers band-aids are going to set you back at 2 falls a day, 5 X injury *screech*
8 is more homework than you remember doing at 8. Realizing that you don't have the skills to combat super hard grade 3 style math equasions. Feeling the shame when you write a note to the teacher saying "Alex's homework isn't done because I didn't fully understand the question" and then spending the rest of the day feeling like a dumbass. "I can balance my check book, find area and mass, but I can't figure out the estimation on this diagram of building blocks?"
8 is wonderful. It's such a fun age - these ages go by so quickly. They stop being toddlers, and BAM, they're these little people. I say to parents out there... enjoy it, because in a blink of an eye, they're going to be these strong willed teenagers, who don't want to hang out with us because we're not cool. We're cool now!
8 is that wonderful year where they start to get some respect. Yep, that's right. Some Respect. They have bigger kids meals at restaurants for kids who are 8. Usually with something more grown up than "Would you like some goldfish shaped crackers?" "No, actually, we'll take the BIG KID meal.". That appeases her more than most. The big kid meal.
8 is going to the community pool, and NOT having to go swimming with them. Yes parents, that's right. The age where parents can allow their child (in most pools) to swim without you hovering is 8. That means, that no longer do I have to squish my "marque du maman" body into a bathing suit. I can now, put her in a bathing suit, tighten her life jacket, and throw her into the pool, and GO TAKE MY YOGA CLASS. ..not to sound excited. but YAY.
8 is getting excited about things like road trips to other places, with the intent to stay awake. (note how I said intent, not ability) Talking, planning, getting everything organized, loading it into the car, getting into the car, going about 40 clicks, and I realize that I'm officially talking to myself about bakugan and finger skateboards. God forbid I want to change the music to the songs I like, seeing as she's not awake.. OH WAIT, Rhianna/Gwen Stefani/Pink stopped playing, I have to wake up and tell mommy not to change the music.
So I change it back, and she falls back asleep. (Small price to pay for enjoying the road trip with her, honestly)
8 is getting a bigger bike. You get rid of that small pink bike, and get your little tomboy an awesome BMX style black and red rockin' bike. You don't realize that the bumps and bruises also go up a size too. So, as you're feeling this sense of pride watching your little one, on this not-so-little bike, waving with your plaster goofy "Aw Mom, stop it" smile on your face, and it slowly changes to "Oh no, Mom's gonna be mad at something" face because you realize just how much the 5 Transformers band-aids are going to set you back at 2 falls a day, 5 X injury *screech*
8 is more homework than you remember doing at 8. Realizing that you don't have the skills to combat super hard grade 3 style math equasions. Feeling the shame when you write a note to the teacher saying "Alex's homework isn't done because I didn't fully understand the question" and then spending the rest of the day feeling like a dumbass. "I can balance my check book, find area and mass, but I can't figure out the estimation on this diagram of building blocks?"
8 is wonderful. It's such a fun age - these ages go by so quickly. They stop being toddlers, and BAM, they're these little people. I say to parents out there... enjoy it, because in a blink of an eye, they're going to be these strong willed teenagers, who don't want to hang out with us because we're not cool. We're cool now!
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
New Beginnings
Have you ever opened your eyes and realized that everything around you is different? Not just "Oh look, someone moved the coffee table" different, but really realized its different?
I realized that I have embarked on something amazing with Alexandria. We're wholly alone - Family exists online, friends are more than 500 long miles away, but that's just to the closest friend, family is 1500 kilometers. To be honest? I'm okay with it! Nothing is as freeing, and scary, and wonderful, and awkward, and amazing as this adventure has been for us so far. Two months, and we're starting to be closer than we ever have been. Close like we were when she was the tiny little baby that I helped nurture into the child she is now. (and damnit, I've done a good job)
Sure, I'm lonely. There's no one to hold me, or share in my joys, or just snuggle up and watch a movie... but without that, I have found that I am okay with myself. When I thought I was at my weakest, I realized that I am really at my strongest. When I thought that Alexandria wouldn't have enough with just me, I realized that all she needs in life is my loving embrace to make the distance from her family not seem so far.
She is thriving, just like I knew she would. We've had a couple of bumps in the road, but when you take the road less traveled you often run into little snags here and there. She is such a strong and beautiful little girl. She is getting the chance just to be a kid now, for the first time in as many years as I can remember.
Just remember to hug your children often. I have to remember constantly that they're not perfect. That the light that shines from within them is something to be treasured, even if I've had a bad day. Their innocent joy will grow out of them, much like they outgrow bikes, soon enough, and to let them just... be carefree, and enjoy their childhood is the number one thing you can do.
And to just love them. Every day. As many times a day as you can.
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