Real change starts from within.

I've made a couple of promises to myself lately. I had to snap myself out of that funk I was in, and I hope I'm on the right path...yoga saved me once before, then I left it behind in the hustle and bustle of life...I've found it again.. and I feel a new energy inside me.

Sustain.
Maintain.
Remain.

The eve of my discontent.

What do you do when you hate everything? Right now, I currently hate my job. Hate my home. Hate that I have no career. Hate that I have no drive. Hate that I have no money. Hate that I can't stop hating. Omg I don't even want to post this because its so... emo! I love my daughter! I love my partner! I love walks in the fresh spring air. I love that I HAVE a home. I love that I have a car. I love we live where there is food. I love that I have a job. (that pays pretty well) I need help deciding where to go next in life though. Deciding on a career Deciding on what steps to take. Usually I'm that smug chicky with all the answers - for everyone else...

Torn.

I am feeling dissatisfied with life lately. I don't do enough...I dont clean enough, or cook enough. I don't commit to doing enough things. No follow through..and It's starting to drive me nuts. It's almost too late to garden for this year and have anything successful come from it...but It's aching in me to get out.

I am dissatisfied with my job. Immensely. I know that i have the option to quit, but I just can't bring myself to do something that will leave me that insecure financially. I want to write. Or to help people... To reach out and do something I love....

But..

I don't know what I love.

And that, makes me sad.